Video work (5"05') produced for Extreme Imagination at Tramway, Glasgow (January 2019). Two years prior to making this work I discovered that I had a condition called aphantasia (a blind mind's eye). The realisation that I couldn't 'picture' images (I thought this was just a metaphor), came as less of a realisation than that everyone else could. As a established curator and artist it caused me to question everything I knew about my practice, and led to a two year hiatus in making art. In this work a monologue talks about the realisation that I am an aphantasiac, its relationship to painting, and how it sheds light on certain incidents in my past. Meanwhile the images show a drifting and immediate flow of fluid pained landscapes, presenting a sense of constant slippage and repeated renewal, but no resolution.