40 books i'll never write 1. on living with your parents 2. on Ikea and our imagination 3. on The mythology of balance 4. on seeing the contemporary in antiquity 5. on falling down Vs standing up 6. on big cocks vs pretty pricks 7. on the genius of Les Dawson and Ken Dodd 8. on cycloptic vision and image 9. on a space for the birds 10. on getting to grips on grip 11. on eggs and Tony Hancock 12. on why Edward Bernays is a cunt 13. on geeks, loosers and fools 14. on Miles Davies's focus group 15. on Dogme 95 and the Hippys 16. on how hating Dan Walwin has brought me happiness 17. on the laws of Vesari 18. on Star Trek and the peolposian war 19. on old men vs the whale 20. on the misplaced rage of Mark Kommode 21. on the internets new name 22. on monkey tennis 23. on the joys of other peoples bodies 24. on smoking on the toilet/in bed with Phillp Guston 25. on philosophical dogs 26. on laconic statements and heckling 27. on the skilled prefrence for the primative 28. on why we always have had comics 29. on Gunter grass (AKA Gdansk, the war, and wurst ) 30. on the end of the day 31. on pineapples 32. on Newton vs Darwin 33. on the falklands and us 34. on the parrots of margate and other feral exotics 35. on how frued was a motherfucker 36. on playing with shit 37. on why no one likes a smartass 38. on how to act sober when drunk 39. on how Odilon Redon lives in David Bowie 40. an imagination with Ruskin and Stokes read full statement

Location London